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Saturday, November 24, 2012

Tearing Me Apart

I really hate this feeling of jealousy. I mean is it even normal in the first place? He's only my friend nothing more than that which means that he has every right to flirt or be with any girl that he wants to. And that would be the moment when I have to let him go. I'm not ready for that. Had a little argument when I found out that this friend of his wanted to study with him. I have nothing against him going but jealousy sets in. Cause I still remembered that moment when I saw him with that girl and it's like a nightmare all over again if that were to happen. Seeing him so happy with that girl, it broke my heart cause all I could do was just sit and stare. It's like I meant nothing to him that time. It's my feeling of insecurities and jealousy that's causing me to be like this. And I hate it. I have no right to control his life so why should I care in the first place right? I guess I'm just a selfish person that wants him all to myself. But the truth is, I'm just afraid that he would find someone prettier, smarter, funnier and better than me. I just wish he knew how much he means to me.

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