For The First Time

I dunno why I'm so afraid to lose you when you're not even mine. Yeah sure, we confessed to each other but how do I know that you won't lose your feelings for me? I'm so confused right now. Every time, I think of you, it puts a smile on my face but at the same time, I would cry. Who would have thought that you could have such an effect on me like this? Yes, I get jealous whenever you talk or converse with other girls but it's not me being clingy, it's just me being afraid to lose you. Am I falling too hard? Maybe I am. I wish for once, you could delve into my mind and feel everything that I'm feeling. You have no idea what you can do to me. I never had the opportunity to tell you how much you mean to me. I know we've only known each other for just a few months but ever since you walked into my life, I felt like I have something to look forward to. The days when I get to see you are the best ever. Everyday is my favourite day when I'm with you. And the days without you, are the longest ever. But maybe it's just me that's feeling this way. I want to go up to you and tell you how much I've grown to love your smile but I just can't. The promise that you made is not just hurting you but it's also hurting me because you have to stick by it and I have to follow because I don't want you to break that promise. These next few months will be the longest in my life. I hope that God would give me strength to get me through this. And I pray that you would keep your promise because I've waited for you. I'm never gonna give up on us. I'll do anything that I can for us. I would. That's my promise. I would love you and accept you. I might not be the best but I'll be everything more than what you deserve . I want to be your first and last love. I want you to know that I'll always be here for you even if you do not know it. Sometimes, I wonder why would God let us meet when all of us are about to go our separate ways? Maybe God has something in store for us and he wants us to be patient. I hope that you're the one for me. It's like first love all over again. The butterflies I get every time I see you, the blush staining my cheeks every time someone mentions my name, the beating of my heart whenever you're near me. That's how I feel. Your eyes, your smile, your scent, your laugh is becoming your drug. I'm writing this down so I can see it and read it over and over again to remind myself how much I love you. You're my pain, my medicine, my baby, the reason for my smile, my tears, the reason I smile to myself, the reason I listen to all the slow songs, the reason why I tend to look my best, you're my air, my blood but most of all you're my everything. Distance might keep us apart but my feelings for you will remain. I want you to know that I can go on forever but then it'll never end. My friends often asked me why I like you. I have no answer cause what I felt for you is overwhelming and indescribable. They don't see what I see in you. If only you could read this then you would know my true feelings. I can't say I love you now but someday when the time comes, I hope I will and i hope the person that I said it to would be you. You're my Prince Charming and my knight in shining armour. You saved me from myself and showed me the beauty of the world again. I've waited so long to open my heart to someone and it's you. I've only anted you even when there are others waiting for me. They won't understand why I chose you but they don't have to. I just pray that if we were meant to be, you'll treat me right and love me for who I am, through the ups and downs that would make our relationship stronger and hopefully lasts. I love you.