Just The Girl

So, everything's okay. SPM is in 9 days, well that's what they all say. I've been studying my ass off and I need a break for a while. My friend has totally changed. Like I had no idea what happened to him but I can say that he has changed. I dunno what went wrong but he rarely talks to us anymore. I thought I was the only one that thought he was annoying and how he drastically changed but apparently, I'm not the only one. I'm not bitching or anything but please dude, you and my best friend are no longer together, you have to give her space. I dunno how many times I've mentioned this bit seriously, it's so not cool. Like yesterday, after she left you came over to us. What? Too cowardly to even talk to her? She moved on and you also have to move on at the same time. She's not the only girl in this world you know. She might be just the girl for you but she deserves someone better than you.

Good Day

Had a bad day today and it was partially my fault. I guess. I'm half to be blamed for it. Sometimes, I can't help but to be sensitive when it comes to certain issues. Maybe, I'm just not used to getting tease a lot and yeah I'm kinda sick of it. But like I said before, no matter how many times he pisses me off, I can never get angry at him and I dunno why. I guess you can say that he's my weakness. But no matter how many times we get into a fight even over very petty things, we still and will always try to patch things up no matter what. I guess that's the coolest thing about our friendship. And yeah I'm looking forward for tomorrow because I will take everything into my stride and pray that it would be a good day.

Hold On

Gosh just 2 more weeks and I'll be sitting for the biggest exam of my high school life. The exam that will determine my future and where I'm heading to in my life. Gosh, talking about it already made me stressed out. Tomorrow's the seminar and honestly, I'm really lazy to go for it but the only reason that I'm going is to see my friends and maybe get a few tips. How I wished it was my teacher who's in charge of the session tomorrow but unfortunately it's not. Owh and the guy that likes me? He didn't even try to gain my attention today. I guess he finally got the cue that I'm not interested in him . Thank God. But it so ain't cool getting teased all the time. And I still don't get why some people think I'm together with my best friend. I mean, can't a girl be close friends with a guy? Guess the only thing I can do right now is to hold on huh?

Let Me Take You There

I never thought that late replies would be a concern to him. I guess he's just like me in a way. I can't stand late replies and neither can he. Sometimes I feel like if he were to reply late to me, he's talking to someone better but that's just one of my insecurities. Honestly, I dunno what our relationship is. Friends or what? Cause we act more than friends but less than lovers and that really confuses me. I just wish he can tell me what we really are. I know it's only a small matter but I just don't want to think about this all the time. I just wish he can take me into his world, at least that's how I'm feeling right now.

Figure It Out

Finally it's the weekend. And school starts next Wednesday. What a killjoy. Well, technically, I just wanna voice my dissatisfaction with a couple of things for now. Number one, my grandma. Just because we plan to move doesn't mean that we don't love this house or something. This house has provided me with a lot of memories and yes just like you I feel sad to leave this house but the decision's been made and there's nothing you can do about it. And don't blame my dad for this whole ordeal, please realize that he did a lot for you. Secondly, my stalker. Dude, if you keep on talking about me then grow some balls and confront me instead. It pisses me off to no end, when you're all talk on Facebook but when it comes to the real thing, you have your tail in between your legs. And no you don't own me so please don't try so hard to impress me. I only have my eyes on one guy. Lastly, my friend. Do you know the word privacy? Or it doesn't exist in your dictionary? Don't you know it's rude to read people's messages no matter how close you are to that person? Yeah and you read his texts with me. So not cool dude. Like why do you need to do that? Is it because you can't text my best friend like last time? Move on please. She's looking forward to the future and so should you. All in all, these people should just figure out themselves.

Gimme A Chance

So, the parents are away for four days and yeah I can smell freedom! Nothing much happened today. I actually studied and did a couple of history exercises. I know it's kinda lame but I miss him already even though it's only been a couple of hours. And yeah I cried again today. I blame my mood swings but it was because of him. I sometimes wish that his mood won't affect me but it always does no matter what and that sucks. I just wish that I can just tell him everything that I've kept for so long instead of keeping up a facade in front of him. But I just don't wanna grab the chance even though it has always been there.

Write You A Song

So, today was kind of an annoying day. I mean my friend totally ruined my day. He was okay in the morning but he became a bitch later on. I mean seriously what the hell is your bloody problem? You and my best friend are no longer together so stop controlling her life. You can't do that anymore. It's so not cool when you get jealous when she talks to other boys. I mean what's your bloody problem? I really find that letter that you gave her really sweet but that's not how you win back her heart. Just give her space will you? Stop following her and always being at the same place as her. You might think it's normal but it's pissing her off. I'm just ranting cause I don't wanna hurt your feelings if I were to tell it straight to your face. If I was a singer, I would totally write a song about you.

Tearin' Us Apart

Nothing much happened but I just wanna update my blog cause I'm addicted to typing out my feelings. Life's not all that rosy. Dad's been in a bad mood since so long and I feel like he blames me for everything. He's trying to control my life by deciding when I should stop texting and can use my phone. He even took my phone away a couple of times. Come on, I'm a teenager and that's what we do. Ask a normal teenager and they would reply the same thing as me. We do this every single day. Don't compare the teenagers of our generation to those of your generation please. Times have changed. The more you try to control my life the worse it can get cause then I'll start to hate you and this could tear our relationship apart. Please daddy, why can't you just understand me?

So Damn Clever

I guess it's been a really tough week for me. Yeah, a few good things happened but I never felt like this before. The moments that I had with him just makes me forget about this whole thing, about the pain that I feel inside of me, the uncertainties, the insecurities and most of all, myself. My parents especially my dad is being really harsh to me. I'm a teenager please don't control my life. I know that I'm only 17 and naive but please. I know you're worried about me but everything would be alright. You have no idea how much this affected me okay? Having sleepless nights and been losing my appetite just thinking about it. I wish I have nothing to worry about anymore. I wish I can be a little girl again where I don;t have to worry about anything and anyone and where I'm able to be myself and no one can say no.